I had chosen-family over for dinner last night, and it made me realize how long it’s been since I’ve had company… last June I think, when my latest kid graduated. My parents have been through since then, but I really think they are the only ones, and I don’t clean up for them. :-) Oh, the whole IMSA crew a few weekends back, but they were all kids, and I never really saw them, so they don’t count.

The reason “no guests” surprises me is that back before the divorce I had folks over every weekend, and I’d done that for eight years, so having people over was the usual state of affairs. I know that the last year-or-so of those eight years, I was mildly resentful of all the people that were over, because we were so cash-strapped and I felt like I was doing everybody else’s entertaining for them, but never resentful enough that I considered stopping it. Then the divorce and the move, and suddenly my house was no longer the one so conveniently located, and our group gathered at another house. At first it was a relief to not be the one “on call". Yet, I realize now that I miss it and it surprises me how long it took me to really miss it. Was I more burned out than I thought? Or just busier? I don’t know, but suddenly there is a hole in my life that I hadn’t realized was there.

I shall have to ponder how to get back into the swing of entertaining again. It’s something I enjoy, and I live such a secluded life that I know I need to start being around more people, yet too many people only exhaust me. So having people come to my house is a nice way to both be around people and limit the situation so it isn’t completely overwhelming. Ponder… I shall have to ponder.