The last three days I’ve felt like absolute crap. I haven’t been sick, nor is anything wrong, but I was so worn down and exhausted that I couldn’t get out of bed, yet I wasn’t tired. I had to literally drag myself to the writer’s group meeting last night because I had so little energy.

Then about half way through the meeting I noticed that I was feeling somewhat better and by the end of the meeting I was feeling considerably better.

Afterwards, I went out with a friend and talked for over an hour, at a level of mutual communication that I have only with this friend. With everybody else in my life I have to edit my words so much that I might as well not even be talking, and they rarely speak of things meaningful to their heart, so I often wonder why they are talking. But with this friend, we talk about things that have true meaning to us… I can express my thoughts as they come to me and know they will be taken in the spirit they are intended, as a jumping off point for further discussion. I left the restaurant feeling much better than I had in a long time.

And this morning I feel great.

Nothing has changed in my external circumstance. The kids are still home on spring break. I still have laundry to do and all my money worries…

… but I took the time last night to do the things that fill me up with energy, things that feed my soul. For the last several weeks, I’ve been so busy doing what needs to be done that filling my tank hasn’t been something I’ve had time for. I’ve done little bits and pieces hither and yon, but that was only enough to keep me from crashing sooner.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m old enough to know better.

So, lesson learned, yet again. Pay more attention to filling the tank, because if the tank isn’t full, I can’t do what needs to be done.