Reply to comment
Make Emotional Responses Believable
Read a book over the weekend that I wanted to throw against the wall, and made me tempted to not read the author again, even though I've very much liked many of her previous books. (Book is a historical romance)
Heroine was raised by her gambler-rake of a father and carted all over hell and back while her father gambled to earn money. Heroine believed her mother died when she was two, and heroine's only friend is a make-believe-sister. Needless to say, with this upbringing, the heroine is convinced she's so ruined in society that she'll never marry. The book basically begins when she learns of her father's death.
**long story ensues, then toward the very end**
Heroine finds out that father's very much alive, but the reason that he hasn't bothered to get in touch with her is because father has spent the last couple months with mother (who isn't dead either) and twin sister (who shares name of imaginary sister).
And the story heroine is told is that when heroine was two-years-old father got mad at mother, picked up heroine and stormed off, leaving mother and sister. From then on mother and sister proceeded to live a happy, rich and well-respected life and are the cream of society, while heroine is now broke and ruined.
Oh, and by the way, mother and sister knew heroine was alive, but even with all their money never bothered to go looking for her.
And what was the heroine's response to hearing this story?
She laughed at her father, so amused, because this was so typical of what her father would do, forgave him instantly and immediately moved in with mother and sister.
**blinking in astonishment**
Yeah, right.
Let me tell you, that book's going on my give-away pile... maybe even my trash bin (and I never-ever throw books away) ... all because the author ruined the book by such a huge stupid-ass mistake in the heroine's emotional response to a completely unnecessary situation.
If the whole meeting-the-family scene had been removed and heroine continued to believe family was dead, it would have been a reasonable read.
The lesson for the new writer: You might think the scene is cute, and it ties up all the loose ends and everybody lives joyfully, happily ever after... but if you do it in a way that it's completely unbelievable, nobody will want to read your books again, because you have destroyed all the reader's trust that you can tell a believable story and by destroying so much trust, you just shot your career in the foot.