Monthly archive May 2005

Got back from WisCon ("The world's foremost feminist science fiction convention" in Madison, Wisconsin) Monday afternoon and crashed, then spent all day today working on DucKon's program book, so this is the first chance I've had to write about it. WisCon was a great Con. I was interested to note how many pro-writers were there, several of which are mid-west locals and I invited to next year's DucKon... we'll see who comes.

Last night was critique night for the Windy City RWA group that I belong to, and I brought the first two chapters of "Only The Beginning" to be critiqued. As they read, I sat there in a tizzy. "What are they going to think?" "I think it's good, but I've been fooled before." "But I've learned so much." "What if I'm wrong and it's not as good as I think?" "What if I have to go back to the drawing-board again?!" You get the drift.

I was going to say editing is like pulling teeth, but that's too cliche and I've never pulled teeth... but editing... it's like something and I'm not sure what. All I know is I sit here staring at the monitor and I want to escape. So I force myself to stay and type a couple words, changing the mood slightly in that sentence and suddenly everything falls into place for a moment and I see this picture in my brain. Full of energy, I fix this and that, glorying in the clarity... then just as suddenly the picture disappears and I'm left staring at a meaningless screen full of words and I want to escape again. The book upstairs is calling to me. Surely if I get away from this for a few moments the clarity will return... won't it?

Last year I volunteered to format the program book for DucKon... silly me. I told the ConChair that I needed stuff in a reasonable amount of time to turn the book (50-ish pages) around, 3-4 days including passing back and forth to people to proof-read. It wasn't much to ask for, I thought. Well... I'm sure you can guess where this story is going. I finally got the bulk of the info and called ConChair and asked when the drop-dead date for the printer was. She said she didn't know and I should call the printer. So, I called the printer, and they said the next morning. <sigh> Being best-friends with the ConChair has its down-points, and this was one of them. About 9pm that night I got to work, and worked through the night and into the next morning and got the program book done and off to the printer. And swore I wouldn't do that again.

It was a reasonably productive weekend. I got my synopsis finished and critiqued by the class's teacher, who made a couple minor changes and told me: "It's a pleasure to work with someone who's willing to understand the relationship between plot and the final synopsis" and "I know it'll find a good home - it deserves it!" <grin> I had to chuckle at the first comment, especially after watching her critiques the other folks stuff... I keep wanting to say "Come on, it's not that hard!" and "Big picture, people, big picture" :-) And her second comment made me feel really good. After four years of working on this book, I need that shot in the arm... maybe it really is good enough to send out. It helps tame my perfectionist, who wants it to be perfect before I send it out.

Thursday and yesterday were more synopsis work. Filled out the next three templates and sent them in, when I got them back with only a couple minor comments I took an educated guess on the last two templates and sent them into the course's instructor. She sent them back with another 'atta girl'. Yah! I think I have it! :-) While I was waiting for her to get back to me I turned all the template answers into paragraphs, filled in the transitions and--wow!-- I have a 2-page synopsis. Gave it to a friend to read last night, she noted a couple inconsistencies that made sense in the context of the manuscript, but not in the synopsis. So, I'll fix those, and, yes, I'll send it in to be critiqued, but I feel really good about it. This class was the best $25 I've ever spent. Next step is fix first three chapters, then send it in.

Spent all last night dreaming about synopses and the synopsis templates that the class's teacher, Mary Buckham, has put together... let me tell you, that didn't make for a restful night! :-) But some good must have come out of it, because this morning I sat down and filled out the first four templates in about 15 minutes (teacher had estimated 30 minutes each), emailed them and proceeded to gnaw on my fingers for a while... did I do it right? Within a 1/2 hour I got an email back with one little comment that I should switch the order of a couple things for more effect. Wow! After the way she's torn some of the template responses apart on the loop, I was a amazed. Tomorrow I attack the next three templates and send them in. Then I have a really good idea where the rest of the synopsis is going so I may try and jump ahead, and get the blasted thing done... wouldn't that be nice.

After my problems yesterday, I had a 'duh!' moment. One of the things on my to-do list was 'write the synopsis', which I've tried several times before, but failed miserably. My 'duh!' moment was when it finally clicked in my brain that I'm currently signed up for an on-line synopsis class that I've been ignoring because I've been fighting with editing my manuscript. The class goes until the end of the month, and if I work on the class exercises and get something put together before the class is over, then I can send it to the teacher to have her critique it. Yeah, I know... duh! So that's what I've done today, read about 200 of the 400+ emails that have so far accumulated in the folder I set up for the class. Mary Buckham's Synopsis Writing Class is most excellent so far and I'm looking forward to seeing how she brings it all together into a finished product.

Talking with my two friends really clarified things for me... It's not fear I'm fighting, it's my perfectionism. It was one of those Bingo!/Duh! lightbulb moments. I'm a terrible perfectionist and I've been fighting the urge for years... all you have to do is look at any of my art and you'll see how much a perfectionist I am. And, yes, my perfectionism is a form of fear, but different enough that it takes a different tactic to fight it. So, with their help I've settled on the tactics: 1) make a list of specific things I need to fix in the first three chapters, then fix only those things (I made the list over lunch), 2) write the synopsis, 3) send the blasted proposal off, 4) worry about fixing the rest of it later when I have the energy/inclination to do so, and 5) work on the new stuff! That I can handle, that I can do. I feel much better about my world.

... is such a sad thing to lose. <sigh> It's so simple... open the file and start editing... why can't I do it? I even know what I want to say. Why can't I open the file? That pretty little blue 'W' on the desktop... why can't I click on it? Why am I willing do anything rather than click on it? 50-degrees, cloudy and threatening rain and I'd rather be outside gardening than move my hand to the mouse and click on that 'W'. I'd rather walk the dog... I'd rather clean the house... I know! I'll call somebody... or clean off my desk... Oh, jeez! that kitchen floor is a mess, and I've been meaning to mop that for a while. If I do that, then I know I'll be in a much better frame of mind when I come back and I'll be able to open the file and start, but I'm heading off to lunch with a friend in a 1/2 hour and that's much too little time to start anything, maybe I'll take a short nap, that would definitely help.

Yeah, right... :-(

Made it through last week and the weekend, both of which I consider to be major feats: last week for its productivity (non-writing related, unfortunately) and the weekend for its total lack productivity. So today is catch-up day. I updated my Book Reviews page with the books I read this weekend, and next is to actually start on the edit of "A Happy Medium". One thing I did manage to do while I cleaned at my friend's house last week was figure out how to re-write the first scene. The challenge for today is getting what's in my head down on paper. We'll see how I do...

I discovered that if I'm not writing that I don't feel like I have anything to say here, and since I probably won't touch the keyboard this week--at least to write on my novels--that I should just leave this until I get back to writing.

Well, I figured I'd post something just to prove I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth. This week will be full of cleaning, gardening, stained glass, being moral-support, DucKon stuff and all kinds of other non-writing stuff that I'm hoping I can gather into one week and get it done.

This was one of those good-news/bad-news days. I got over 3000 words written on my new book, and really like what it's doing and where it's going... but I got so caught up in writing that I lost track of the time and didn't go over to clean my friend's house like I'd promised. Oops! Well, I guess that's why I call her my friend instead of my client. She knows I write, she knows I get lost in it, and she knows I'll get to her place eventually... but not tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm driving over into Michigan to have lunch with a friend who found out this last weekend her mother's been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and only has a few weeks to live. And this is why my cleaning-friend is really a friend, she knows that moral support in this kind of instance is more important than which day her family room gets dusted. Thanks cleaning-friend, and I really, really promise to get to over there first thing Friday. :-)

Got the Writer's Track prelimiary schedule off to the DucKon Program Chair. YAH!! Survived kids until the Ex took them for the evening. Took the dog for a long walk. Then, between this afternoon and now, wrote 2800 words on my new book and I really like how it's going. Another Yah! :-) Now it's off to a friend's house to measure rooms for new furniture. Spending other people's money on decorations is even more fun than spending my own, especially when I don't have any to spend. Hopefully tomorrow will be just as productive.

I had hopes of spending this week working on my manuscript, but alas, I'm fighting with DucKon Writer's Track programming. Too many panels to present and not enough time. What stays? What goes? Or can I squash more in? Then, once I decide which panels I'm doing, the next challenge is to try and work the schedule around all the people participating. Not this time, not that time, not conflicting with this or that... aarrgghhh! :-) But, since I'm doing it all for my own edification (a whole bunch of authors, teachers, and a publisher at my beck-and-call for an entire weekend to answer any question I might have about writing) none of this is a bad thing, I just feel in a tizzy for a couple days.